When I was younger, I dreamed about marrying and having children. I couldn't wait to be able to hold my baby in my arms for the first time. I couldn't wait to dress them up in cute little outfits and play with them. Even as I got older, I realized that there is much more to parenting than that, but I still had no idea what I was in for (although I'd never change a thing).
Ariana is a very calm child and always has been, by nature. Sure, she's acted out like a lot of kids, but she's pretty good for the most part. After Ava was born, I knew I was in for a real treat with her :) She was pretty feisty from birth and hasn't changed much in the last 2 1/2 yrs. She has my husband's head spinning in circles most of the time (not knowing what to do with her) She's very sweet, don't get me wrong, but she definitely has a mind of her own. Spyder, the baby, well he's VERY calm by nature, but he's still a baby that requires much of my time at the moment, which makes dividing my time, a bit more challenging. Parenting 3 kids is amazing and, yes I still want more :)...but being a mom is not
quite what I had imagined!
Little did I know... that I wouldn't be able to just get up in the morning and shower like I always had. No, it can't possibly be that simple! I had no idea that I wouldn't be able to shave my legs whenever I needed or wanted to, without getting out in time to hear that someone had been crying the whole time and feeling guilty just for bathing. Guilt over BATHING.....who knew that was possible! Well, just ask any mom. It's possible. I also had no idea that time alone to myself just to shower would be so desired over so many other things. This is just part of being a mom!
Before I was a mother, I used to judge parents who were shopping with a child who would be screaming for a toy and thought to myself...
my children will NEVER act like that. HA! What did I know. I sure didn't know that I would someday be walking out of Wal-Mart, leaving a grocery cart full of stuff, because my child wouldn't quit screaming, no matter
WHAT I tried. I never thought I would be the kind of mother who would resort to bribery either. Who knew?
Little did I know...I would also never be able to carry on a REAL conversation with my husband until my kids went to bed because there would be constant questions coming from my two year old that would require immediate attention, and because, since becoming a mother, I can't remember from one minute to the next what I was saying. If I'm interrupted, it's over. So as much as I try, I just have to wait till the end of the night to overload my husband with thoughts from my entire day :)
Little did I know...that talking about poop would be such a hot topic around our house (especially at the dinner table), and that this would not bother me in the least :) Something that just comes with being a mom!
I do confess... that I also used to judge parents (who were well dressed) that would allow their children to leave the house looking like rag dolls and had dressed themselves. That is
until......we had Ava, who (at one point) refused to wear two matching shoes. They
HAD to be different. We would dress her in a matching pair and by the time we would be heading out the door, she would have changed them. Always a different shoe on each foot. We just gave up and let her wear what she wanted. You just have to pick your battles, right?
Little did I know...that wearing heels would no longer be practical. As much as I LOVE to dress up in heels, after becoming a mom and always having a kid on my hip, I've just
given in to flats and tennis. I still put on my heels on the very RARE occasion that I go somewhere without the kiddos.
Little did I know....that I would train myself to get dressed, eat, type, cook, etc.... with a baby hanging from my hip.
Little did I know... that I would give in to a name such as, Spyder, for my child and truly fall in love with it! And later laugh, along with my husband, at the scene in Tarzan (which we are forced to watch over and over again by our 2yr. old) where the young gorilla (with the voice of Rosie O'Donnel) says "Whatchya gonna name him?" "Tarzan" "Well, OK, he's YOUR baby"!!! ....... Haha!!!!
Little did I know....that giving birth would deform my body in ways I never imagined, but yet I would still want more!
Little did I know...that (being the germaphobe that I am) I wouldn't 'Freak Out' when my kid picked up an ice-sickle to eat it, but instead I would run for the camera! :)
Little did I know...that I would feel most succesful
when....everyone ate good for the day, there were no 'major' accidents, laundry got done, house stayed clean, I was able to actually kiss or hug my husband when he walked through the door (without a million distractions), and find time to exercise and have a little 'me' time.
Little did I know...that laundry would
NEVER actually get done!
Little did I know...that I would be able to laugh so hard at my fearful child who was crying in her bath, because she was scared of the bubbles!
But also had no idea that...
Even when I would be cleaning up puke in the middle of the night, I would rather be doing that the rest of my life than never get to experience motherhood.
The worst pain I would ever know would be watching my kids in pain.
When I held my baby in my arms while he slept, even though my arms would feel like they could collapse, I would want to cherish every single moment.
Even when I would be so busy with other things, when my daughter asks "Mommy, I want you lay down with me." I would gladly drop everything (laundry, dishes, etc) for just a few minutes to do what she asks, because I would know that someday she will be too big for me to lay down with her and cuddle on the couch.
Or that my biggest dreams would turn into dreaming big for my kids.
Being a mom IS however just as beautiful, and as much fun as I imagined it would be. But even though mommyhood is not QUITE how I imagined it, it's absolutely amazing and I'm grateful for every single moment that I get to experience it!
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